No Apologies Read online

  No Apologies

  By Sybil Bartel

  Never apologize

  Hard-edged rocker Graham Allen has it all. He’s flush with cash from playing bass in a band by night and restoring classic cars by day. And there are plenty of women willing to share his bed for a night, complication-free. Perfect, because if there’s anything he learned from his past, it was to never get attached—to anything. So when bartender Carly Sullivan flashes her innocent smile, Graham isn’t prepared for what happens next.

  Never fall in love

  Two rules, that’s all Graham has—never apologize and never fall in love. He knows Carly is everything he should avoid. Cheerful and sweet, she has “relationship” written all over her. But Graham can’t stay away from her probing questions and concerned blue eyes.

  When Graham discovers Carly is hiding a crushing secret, he’s prepared to risk it all. Until in one single moment, everything changes and Graham’s past threatens to collide with his future. His life is crumbling down around him, and soon no apology in the world can save him.

  He should’ve known to walk away.

  91,000 words

  Dear Reader,

  June seems to be a time of both magical beginnings and wishful thinking, as we combine the wedding season with the last month of school. Here at Carina, our jobs are filled with a combination of both magical beginnings and wishful thinking, as we work in the land of fiction and allow ourselves to drift through fantastic worlds, happily ever afters and action-filled stories. Okay, maybe our jobs are a lot more rooted in reality than that, but the books we publish do allow us a brief escape and I hope they’ll do the same for you this month.

  Powerhouse erotic romance author Lynda Aicher is back with Bonds of Courage, in which an alpha professional hockey player finds himself the one bound and at her mercy. Joining Lynda in the erotic category is Samantha Ann King with another fantastic ménage, Tempting Meredith. One man is risky, but two might teach her to trust and love again.

  June brings quite a lineup of male/male romances. Ava March always stands out for me because not only does she write a fantastic male/male erotic romance, but she sets it in historical times, when it was even harder for two men to be in love, lending even more delicious romantic tension. Don’t miss Sharp Love, followed by The Viscount’s Wager releasing in December 2014.

  And speaking of magical beginnings, we have two debut authors in the male/male category. This month we’re pleased to introduce Tyler Flynn and Chasing the Rebel. One man is fleeing the French Revolution, the other sympathizes with the Revolution. How can they fall for each other when they can’t even trust each other?

  Also debuting with Carina Press this month is G.B. Lindsey, who leads off a three-part anthology, Secrets of Neverwood, which includes novellas from returning Carina Press authors Diana Copland and Libby Drew. As three foster brothers renovate a stately mansion to reopen it as a home for troubled gay youth, their love lives are complicated by the whimsical ghost of their foster mother in One Door Closes, The Growing Season, and The Lost Year.

  Rounding out our male/male selections for the month is returning author L.B. Gregg with her popular Men of Smithfield series. In Men of Smithfield: Sam and Aaron, Sam’s in a rut and looking to break out of it, so he’s thrilled when a newcomer to town introduces more than an edge of naughty nights and risky days into his life.

  There are so many more incredible books coming in June, it’s hard to know which world to lead you to next. How about some angels and demons in The Fire Within by Dana Marie Bell? Or why not take a trip on the high seas on a pirate ship—only this one captained by a woman in Mutiny of the Heart by Jennifer Bray-Weber. Danube Adele isn’t shy about taking new adult to a whole new level in her paranormal romance Dark Summer Dreams, in which Shandria is forced to rescue a sworn enemy of her people, only to find herself kidnapped by that same rugged warrior who promises retribution of his own. And who wouldn’t want to spend time with an outlaw witch, a society ice queen, and illicit magic that lights up the night in the tense futuristic world of the Magic Born in Sonya Clark’s Witchlight.

  In another twist on the new adult genre, Anne Tibbets joins Carina Press and introduces The Line Book One: Carrier and her dystopian world. In a futuristic society, sex slave Naya is released and given a choice—find someone willing to take her place, or fight against the ruling corporation to save her unborn children.

  Amylynn Bright also joins Carina Press, bringing contemporary romance Cooking Up Love to our virtual shelves. When anonymous food critic and lousy chef Holly signed up for cooking classes, she didn’t realize that she and her yummy instructor would be whipping up more than dinner in the kitchen—or that he’d blame her bad review for closing his restaurant and killing his career.

  We have two additional debut authors to introduce this month, both writing contemporary new adult romance, but in two freshly original and very different stories. In Hate to Love You by Elise Alden, hatred and guilt battle love and desire as Paisley and James confront the past, each other, and the unwanted attraction that sparked between them the night she ruined his wedding. This is one book that will have people firmly on either side of a line: hate Paisley, or love her?

  And we welcome Sybil Bartel and her new adult romance, No Apologies. No heart, questionable morals, one hundred percent attitude, Graham Allen is the perfect rocker; nothing can break him—except her.

  Last, this month we introduce a new trilogy, Shore Secrets, from Carina Press author Christi Barth. A hard-nosed businessman with contempt for small-town America is forever changed by the love of a sexy hotel owner and a quirky but tight-knit community famous for its anonymous journal by the lakeshore. Don’t miss Up to Me, the first of this trilogy featuring three strong heroes, fighting for the love and trust of three even stronger heroines on the shores of Seneca Lake.

  I hope your month of June is as wonderful as ours, spending it among our reader friends at different conventions and getting to gab about the books we love. Maybe we’ll see you at one of them! And if you do, we hope you’ll stop us and tell us your favorite Carina Press book. There just might be some Carina swag in it for you if we have any on us!

  Coming in July: Falling for Max by Shannon Stacey; a debut author, Caroline Kimberly, brings us a historical romance pitched as “Regency Romancing the Stone”; and Jeffe Kennedy offers up a hot new BDSM novel.

  Here’s wishing you a wonderful month of books you love, remember and recommend.

  Happy reading!

  ~Angela James

  Executive Editor, Carina Press

  Dedication

  For Scott and Oliver

  Acknowledgments

  Writing is a journey one never takes alone. Without my first champion and tireless supporter, I would not have gotten this far, so from one author to another, thank you, Dad. To my very first beta readers, Cheryl and Kaki, you are both amazing. To my son, you inspire me every day. And to my husband, I love you. Without you, I wouldn’t be living my dream.

  Contents

  Bible Verse

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  C
hapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Man born of woman

  is short-lived and full of trouble...

  Job 14:1

  Chapter One

  Beginnings

  Spring

  Sweating my ass off, arms sore, I swung the heavy mallet, pounding the scaffolding into place. Dance platforms were a stupid fucking idea, but what did I know? Cursing my friend Myles, I wiped my face with my shirt. “I better make my money back.”

  Myles glanced up from wiring one of the hanging speakers and grinned like Christmas morning. “Dude. You’re gonna double your investment in the first month.”

  “Bullshit.” I’d kiss his ass if I made forty grand in a month.

  “I’m telling you straight. I got killer bands lined up for the next six months, the opening’s gone viral, we’ve advertised all over—this place is gonna kill it. And if I’m wrong?” Myles shrugged. “We’ll at least have a live crowd to gig at every week.”

  “Whatever.” I wasn’t holding my breath, but I also wasn’t stupid. Myles was crazy enough to pull this off. He had the golden touch with everything else, why not a club?

  Myles laughed. “You know you’re stoked. You won’t have to go far looking for hook-ups.”

  Myles’s uncle Neil walked by with a case of liquor. “If you fuck one of the bartenders, you’re out. No fraternization. Period.”

  “Relax.” Prick.

  Neil dropped the case on the bar. “Stick to security and I will.”

  Neil had reservations about going into business with me, but Myles didn’t, and this whole thing was his doing so Neil could fuck off for all I cared. “Don’t embezzle and I won’t have to kick your ass.” I’d never take Neil—the fucker was huge—but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t go down trying.

  “Cold-blooded, man, cold-blooded.” Myles came down the ladder.

  “Blood being the operative word.” Neil stared at me.

  “C’mon girls, we’re done for the night.” Myles half smiled and shook his head. “Let’s go get a drink.”

  “Who’s gonna serve you?” Myles was twenty for another month but truth was, he never had a problem. He just flashed his smile and girls fell for his six-foot-four blond-surfer looks. He was the perfect front for our band.

  “Let’s hit that bar by your house.”

  I went completely still. “Why?”

  Myles looked up from the cables he was holding and eyed me suspiciously. “What’s wrong with the Brickhouse?”

  Everything. “Nothing.”

  “Great, you’re driving.”

  I stewed the whole way over, hoping she wasn’t working. When we walked in and I saw white-blond hair and a tight little ass, I knew I was in trouble.

  Carly turned and a heart-stopping smile lit her face. “Evening, gentlemen, what’ll it be?”

  Myles blatantly checked Carly out, then smiled his chick-magnet smile. “I don’t know if I’d call Graham a gentleman.”

  If he wasn’t my best friend, I would’ve slammed his face into the bar.

  Shockingly, Neil came to my defense. “And we’re still trying to figure out what to call you.” He barely glanced at Carly as he sat. “Vodka, rocks.”

  Patient smile on her face, Carly nodded at Neil, then raised her eyebrows at Myles.

  “Heineken, please.”

  When Carly looked at me, her smile softened and her eyes turned to liquid. “Graham?”

  I stared at her for five seconds before I remembered to order. “Beer.” She knew what kind.

  Heat coloring her cheeks, her voice went quiet and shy but she held my eyes. “Nice to see you again.” Her throaty rasp, all sex and innocence, made my dick twitch.

  Myles waited till she walked off, then turned completely in his seat and stared at me with a shit-eating grin. “Nice to see you again? Well that’s a first.”

  “Fuck off.”

  Myles chuckled. “What is up, Casanova? If they know you, they’re usually cursing you.”

  “I never promise any of them shit,” I grumbled, hoping like mad Carly couldn’t hear us.

  Myles glanced appreciatively at Carly then back at me. I was seething and he was smiling. “Hundred bucks says you’re about to.”

  Fuck.

  Chapter Two

  Infatuation

  Winter

  “Jameson’s, up.” I took a seat at the bar.

  Brushing a stray piece of hair from her face, Carly looked up from stacking glasses. Clear blue eyes studied me with open curiosity. “Want to talk about it?”

  My body tensed. “Talk about what?” I came here for her smile, not a shrink appointment.

  Carly threw her hands up. “All right, jeez, I get it.” She slid a glass in front of me and grabbed the Jameson’s. “But for the record, you’ve been coming here for a year and you’ve never ordered anything except beer. And since I don’t want my head bit off again, I’m not going to mention you’re about ten times more surly than usual.” She filled the glass.

  I knew this was a bad idea. I slapped a twenty on the bar and humor touched the corners of her mouth.

  “Thank you,” she sang out sweetly, swiping the bill.

  “Something funny?” I scowled.

  “Nope.” She flashed her signature smile.

  Just like that, my anger dissipated and I shook my head. “Don’t you have other customers to irritate?”

  “Yeah, but you’re more interesting. Why are you here so late? You usually come earlier.”

  I sat up straighter. “You keeping tabs on me?” Should I be insulted by the interesting comment?

  “I keep tabs on all my good tippers.” She smiled as if it were effortless.

  Definitely insulted. “Maybe I should stop tipping.”

  Bright laughter erupted from her tiny body and her eyes sparkled. “Maybe you should.”

  Damn. I didn’t have a comeback for that.

  Her smile still shining, she nodded at my whiskey. “Enjoy your drink while you keep your secrets.” She turned to go.

  “What secrets?” Had I let something slip?

  She paused and looked back at me. “I don’t know but I’ll figure it out.”

  My shoulders relaxed. She didn’t know anything. “I don’t have any secrets,” I lied. Unless you counted the scores of women I’d slept with. But I’d been careful to keep that away from this bar.

  Carly turned to face me and her head tilted to one side. “You, sir, have plenty. I may not figure them all out but I’ll figure out why you came in late tonight.”

  “Figure away.” She wouldn’t find out shit. I didn’t kiss and tell.

  She stared at me a second then turned when a customer called her name.

  I watched her sweet little ass move through the bar and wondered why the hell I was doing this to myself. I could lie and use the excuse that this was the closest bar to my house, but the truth was I was digging myself into a hole. The past two months I’d memorized Carly’s schedule so I could do exactly what I was doing right now. End my day catching a piece of her smile.

  The fact that some chick’s smile had become my drug of choice was suicide, heroin-habit suicide, but Carly was prettier than any woman I knew. She was also cheerful enough to make me want to put my fist through a wall. Or bury my hands in her hair and lose myself for one night but I knew she wasn’t that girl. Innocent a
nd sweet, she never would be. I tossed back half the whiskey while she smiled at some other jerk.

  My phone vibrated with a new text, forcing me to take my eyes off Carly. It was one of the skanks in my contact list: Come over tonight, I wanna play dirty.

  A month ago I would’ve been halfway out the door. Instead, I texted back two words: Not happening.

  “Who is she?” Carly’s breathy voice made me look up.

  “What?” I shoved the phone back in my pocket and stared at her lips.

  “Who’s the girl that’s got you in a funk?”

  “What makes you think I’m in a funk?” Carly had nice, full lips.

  “Jameson’s.” She didn’t take her eyes off mine.

  “Changing my drink makes it about a girl?” I knew better than to engage.

  “Years of pouring, you learn a few things about human nature.” She smiled.

  “Yeah?” Jesus, I liked her smile. “What’d you learn?”

  “In general or about you?”

  “Me.” I was feeling brave.

  “Well, besides the hot bass player, bad boy, I’m-in-a-band charm, I think you’re moody and distant on purpose. You push people away so you can’t get disappointed or hurt. If you have no attachments, there’s nothing to risk. Am I right?” Even though she asked, the way she smiled told me she thought she was.

  I ignored her bull’s-eye. “I’m hot?”

  “Don’t toy with me, Graham Allen.” She smirked.

  I couldn’t help it, my eyebrows shot up. “You know my last name?”

  Carly looked at me and for the first time there was no humor in her eyes. “I know a lot about you,” she said quietly.

  Watching her hold my gaze, steady, daring, my heart tripped over itself. Normally I would’ve followed a comment like that with a snide comeback, or even flirt, but something told me to watch it. When I didn’t say anything, Carly shook her head and turned away.

  Before I knew what I was doing, my hand shot out across the bar and grabbed hers. “Hey.” But I didn’t get beyond that. Large fingers gripped my forearm.

  “Let go of her.” The voice wasn’t deep but it was menacing.

  I didn’t have to look to know trouble when I heard it. Without looking away from Carly, I replied to the jerk. “Fuck off.”